他是谁？我真的不相信我曾经喜欢过他咯~我们好像从新认识了，我真的对他的了解不过深……我到底怎么了？他那么可恶我既然不讨厌他了……对他真的又陌生又熟悉……他为什么会“回来”我还不清楚……其实刚开始，我很气咯~　我真的不懂他在想什么？已经忘记了，又“回来”……现在喜欢的……有了别人……我不懂为什么我喜欢的人都有了别人……很显咯～～～～～～

很烦…………………………又好像是一个信号，我开心的时候……他“出现”了……很矛盾咯~~~~~~~~~ ！

心情很乱咯~~~~~~~~！！！！！！！

        Ummm...seem i was reading New moon , I stop in the middle because some of the part is really boring , i wish my life was that as interesting like Bella Swan ....Too bad it's isn't , I don't even  have a 1st love yet , Pathetic huh ? Maybe .....I used to have one so -called relationship which i don't think it consider  in a relationship , it's so unreal and not realistic at all .....I just consider it's doesn't exist in my life , Ummm.....I do look tough outside but i'm a girl inside , i do apply nail polish , black , pink green ....but i prefer black though , I feel really upset about my assignment , it's not my best ....so i guess i let myself down , I'm really angry and upset about myself , everyone arround me is improving , AM I  IMPROVING ? I guess the answer is NOT IMPROVING .....how disappointed huh ? me suck ....i suck ....I suck really ...I expect too much ....Just GET OVER IT , JOANNA ! GET OVER IT ........JUST GET OVER ........

      My 2nd painting should be better than 1st , it's much more worst ....WORST ....I think but i feel comfortable painting that kind of stuff ( I dun care if no one read this , because i don't think anyone care what i think .....freaking annoying other ppl ...WHATEVER ) I'm so sick of becoming a good person or following the line or rule ....I giving up to becoming that kind of person ....Too friendly or warming sometime it's really stupid ....Yup...I'm stupid for trusting someone so easily , No matter i try to comfort myself , it doesn't really work at all ...( Talking to myself back and fore .....nothing change really ....or I have change ....I dun think i want to change my weakness ....it's hard to change ...) I hope i can runaway .......I just being a Bit*h , trying to be a bit*h ......being cool , being invisible among my classmate , or my schoolmate , i still feel that i'm invisible , what am i trying to prove anyway .....I'm dissapointed i didn't reach the goal .....I can't get over it ....Urghhhh....The Worst damn thing ....okay , I always been stubborn , wanted to solve problem myself , dun want  to seek help from other ppl , annoyed to be the youngest in the family , yup , I'm a freak , a weirdo , I dun want to be pampered by my parent , I dun want to be , but it's hard to change that ...... I have a weirdest thought , i'm weirdo just like any bandaider ...ummm....I dunno , i think i always being a weird freako or something .

     I feel really good thing about is that i can solve the problem of my installation final assignment , but oil painting is not , that 's stuck feeling is coming over again , hopefully my 3rd one is better .......I thought i would finish it or i dunno .....My 1st one is good but not the best , it's okay in my eyes , not my fav ......why does this bother me so much ....?  I hope i have long hair and dye it brown or some dark shade brown ....I want my long hair back again .....I think long hair suit me better , short hair not .....I dun want to wear spec too , maybe contact lences maybe . Stubborn  , why am i so freaking sturbborn .....?  I caught myself again and again .....It doesn't make thing much better ....Sh*t .....

Feel like screaming out loud now .....should i feel upsed , Crying out loud or Angry ...? It's doesn't change thing antway ....I'm such a stupid idiot .